Boonie the Legend
BOONIE FACTS courtesy of Heather
The concept of David Boon in a drinking contest is an oxymoron. When Boonie is involved, there is no contest.
Alcoholics became anonymous to stop Boonie calling them "pussies who can't handle their booze".
David Boon has never been out in a game of cricket, he gives other blokes a turn.
David Boon famously vomited on the hallowed Adelaide Oval turf in a WSC game in 1988 before a live nationwide TV audience of millions (he went on to make 122 and win Man Of The Match). Seriously.
Just like superman has his kryptonite, David Boon has his light beer.
David Boon has never drank a single beer in his life. He always has more than one.
When Boonie enters the MCG public dunny, he always comments, "So this is where the big nobs hang out", and it still gets a laugh.
David Boon does not wear a groin protector. Cricket balls are made of leather to withstand the impact of David Boon's groin.
When a Danish newspaper published a cartoon of David Boon without a moustache, Tasmanians from around the world started rioting.
David Boon's cricket whites were made from the skins of English cricketers.
In drinking competitions, David Boon has been known to take swigs from his competitors glasses when they aren't looking.
David Boon has been known to hide a keg in his cricket bag.
Scientists once said that challenging Chuck Norris to a fight is the stupidest thing you can do. This is wrong. The stupidest thing you can do is challenge David Boon to a drinking contest.
Like most people, David Boon can crush a beer can against his forehead. Unlike most people, the beer can does not need to be emtpy.
A drunken David Boon once burst into the Channel 9 commentary box and exposed his penis. Richie Benaud was heard to later describe the penis as "magnificent".
During an MCG bomb threat evacuation, David Boon had the whole grounds cleared out in 13 seconds, with a sharp whistle and a point to the exit.
When Inside Cricket magazine awards their Player of the Year, there is fine print on the bottom of the page that says: * besides David Boon.
The runaway success of David Boon's famous BBQ Boon Burger lead to the extinction of the Tasmanian Tiger.
Boonie's tears don't cure cancer, but they do cure a hard earned thirst as they are 4.9% alcohol.
It is the dream of every newly made VB can, bottle or keg to one day end up inside David Boon. Thankfully more than half get their wish granted.
David Boon does not get plain old morning wood. He gets morning willow.
Never ask Boonie the time, as his response will always be "Time for your shout." And you have no choice but to oblige.
David Boon halted the Cronulla riots by calling out, "Oi. Stop playing silly buggers."
Boonie's so tough that in the morning his Rice Bubbles don't go 'SNAP CRACKLE and POP', they go "Shhhhhhhhhh here he comes!"
If Chuck Norris threw a roundhouse kick at David Boon whilst Boony played a leg glance, the world as we know it would be destroyed.
David Boon could count to infinity. He just can't be arsed.
The concept of David Boon in a drinking contest is an oxymoron. When Boonie is involved, there is no contest.
Alcoholics became anonymous to stop Boonie calling them "pussies who can't handle their booze".
David Boon has never been out in a game of cricket, he gives other blokes a turn.
David Boon famously vomited on the hallowed Adelaide Oval turf in a WSC game in 1988 before a live nationwide TV audience of millions (he went on to make 122 and win Man Of The Match). Seriously.
Just like superman has his kryptonite, David Boon has his light beer.
David Boon has never drank a single beer in his life. He always has more than one.
When Boonie enters the MCG public dunny, he always comments, "So this is where the big nobs hang out", and it still gets a laugh.
David Boon does not wear a groin protector. Cricket balls are made of leather to withstand the impact of David Boon's groin.
When a Danish newspaper published a cartoon of David Boon without a moustache, Tasmanians from around the world started rioting.
David Boon's cricket whites were made from the skins of English cricketers.
In drinking competitions, David Boon has been known to take swigs from his competitors glasses when they aren't looking.
David Boon has been known to hide a keg in his cricket bag.
Scientists once said that challenging Chuck Norris to a fight is the stupidest thing you can do. This is wrong. The stupidest thing you can do is challenge David Boon to a drinking contest.
Like most people, David Boon can crush a beer can against his forehead. Unlike most people, the beer can does not need to be emtpy.
A drunken David Boon once burst into the Channel 9 commentary box and exposed his penis. Richie Benaud was heard to later describe the penis as "magnificent".
During an MCG bomb threat evacuation, David Boon had the whole grounds cleared out in 13 seconds, with a sharp whistle and a point to the exit.
When Inside Cricket magazine awards their Player of the Year, there is fine print on the bottom of the page that says: * besides David Boon.
The runaway success of David Boon's famous BBQ Boon Burger lead to the extinction of the Tasmanian Tiger.
Boonie's tears don't cure cancer, but they do cure a hard earned thirst as they are 4.9% alcohol.
It is the dream of every newly made VB can, bottle or keg to one day end up inside David Boon. Thankfully more than half get their wish granted.
David Boon does not get plain old morning wood. He gets morning willow.
Never ask Boonie the time, as his response will always be "Time for your shout." And you have no choice but to oblige.
David Boon halted the Cronulla riots by calling out, "Oi. Stop playing silly buggers."
Boonie's so tough that in the morning his Rice Bubbles don't go 'SNAP CRACKLE and POP', they go "Shhhhhhhhhh here he comes!"
If Chuck Norris threw a roundhouse kick at David Boon whilst Boony played a leg glance, the world as we know it would be destroyed.
David Boon could count to infinity. He just can't be arsed.
posted by Lachlan Kelly at 7:14 PM
1 Comments:
ok. technically these boonie facts were highlighted to me by Kieran, so I can't really claim them...
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